there are some days that i love life. things go my way and i feel lucky to be alive. and then there are other days that i hate life. nothing works out, everything seems to hit me at once and i literally feel like i'm drowning. and then there are other days when i feel like my head is just barely above water and i'm dog paddling frantically for a shore i cannot see.

what makes the difference between many of these days are the interactions i have with other people. i hate to be dumped on or taken advantage of and when i am, that taints my attitude towards other events in my life.

it just feels weird going through every other day, either being happy or sad. when everyone asks, "why are you so emo?", "what are you doing to your hand?", "you're stupid!". so what am i suppose to do?

maybe i am suppose to be immune, i do not know. all i know is that i have to end each day with high expectations, not to others but to myself.

rick.